Boy am I acerbic

Last night I thought of a book I would like to read to my girls each night before bed. I think with some snappy illustrations I might have something.

Chapter 1: 3am is never a good time to practice talking, rolling over or screaming.

subtitled: No matter how much you want them to, your parents can't stay up being your personal floating cloud all night or, think of a reason for being out of your bed before you get up.

Chapter 2: Its food, so put it in your mouth and move on with your life.

subtitled: Water bar closes at midnight.

Chapter 3: Maybe you can have a special day, before you are a teenager, when you don't cry?

Subtitled: Let your parents finish a sentence before you lose it.

Chapter 4: Just because you aren't one, doesn't mean you should scream when I don't let you pinch my armpits.

Chapter 5: Sure sharing is hard but, can't you at least do it with stuff that isn't even yours?