Demmon- a blog to bring me up in the search ranks

This little Demmon likes to get up at the crack of dawn and help me blog.


In 2005 my dad blogged about me being Demmon #1 on his Google search. I think I pulled it off because he used a pen name 90% of the time.

Ah, the good old days of 2005. Now I am not in the first three pages of a demmon Google search ,this blog comes up on page five. This is pretty pathetic considering Google adjusts its results based on the person searching.

So here are some searching for myself results.

Bing (formerly MSN or Microsoft search or Bill Gates phone number):

As I typed my name, the picture in the Bing background changed. My mind registered fear before I even knew what had happened.
There is now a demmon.com and they are first. and... hey, classmates dot com came up first in a casson demmon search. They e-mail me everyday to tell me about old classmates that have written me messages to me through their service. I don't know who because I have to register and pay to read the 5 messages. I'll bet all five are welcome notices from the administrator.


Google:

This blog comes up first in a casson demmon search.
There is a website that has historical facts about some place in Michigan called Boston-Demmon. "Originally named Boston, the town name was later changed to Demmon in 1909, when the population reached 100." The site also has some totally annoying, flashing thing on the top of the page that says, "Dedicated Servers $75" I'll dedicate any server you want for only $5, but they have to be raised catholic (you pay shipping).

Who the heck is Hillary Demmon? She's outranking me, my family and any... wait, so are Amy, Haley, Sarah, Beth, Lyman, Matt and Dave Demmon? Did they not exist in 2005? Competition is picking up. I'm going to have to rethink my search engine optimization skills.
Actually, the first Demmon that I know of to pop up is my nephew Luther. Its his MySpace page. I can see that he was riding in the back of a car and someone took his picture in the rearview mirror.

Yahoo:

My blog is #1 under casson demmon, again. Where is cassondemmon.com? I guess it kind of sucks right now anyway...

So it seems pretty obvious that Googling yourself, or Yahooing or Binging, is a complete waste of time unless you want to get depressed by all of the relatives you never knew you had stealing your #1 spot. How did I end up on page five? Where were all these other Demmons when I was getting teased for being a demon in junior high? Back when I could have used a few popular Demmons?

Other great casson links:

1- Chris and Kenny are cool
2- I am not sure what this is?
3- who the heck is Miss Margaret Casson?
4- The greatest place to be
5- I illustrated a book
6- I always wanted to be this funny

*UPDATE

I have moved to page 3 on my latest "Demmon" Google search, page 12 with Yahoo, page 10 in Bing but only after you tell it you only want "demmon" and not "demon". Its like Bing is that junior high kid that used to call me Demon Attack. Wikipedia doesn't know I exist.

Spaghetti and Meatballs

When am I going to tire of that combo?
I had it for lunch and dinner today.
I am sitting here, full, still wanting to eat more spaghetti and meatballs but its all gone cause I ate it all.
I used to go to Bobs Big Boy (now Big Boy Restaurant) and order the spaghetti with some kind of chili sauce on it and a slice of american cheese. I never understood why they had the crappiest comic books known to man. Or why ANYONE would want some fat greasy haired burger swilling , red pants statue of a man/boy with eyes the size of waffles starring in a comic book.

New Terms I Will Be Making Sure I Use Every Doggone Day

As soon as a list like this comes out, I know its time to bring all those words back. My weblog might get the overflow, if I can ever get around to weblogging since tweeding is the thingy. Extranet out!

That Couple I Don't like Seeing

In the beginning, I thought they were nice people. A little distant but nice. However, I totally wrote them off once I saw their kid, all tired and puffy. I'm not talking about being overweight.

Overhead Wires

Inevitably, as we hang out in this wonderful post-beach town of Santa Barbara
someone will throw out an undeniable comment like, "This is the most beautiful city in the world".
Really. They say exactly that. "The most"

I usually say, "You know whats more beautiful than the mountains and sea in this town? Nothing, cause its so unfreaking believable. The air smells beautiful like a febreze.com factory and everyone who lives here beautifully gets younger and younger like beautiful Brad Pitt."

You can't just walk around in mandals and a Big Dog shirt and say absolutes like "the most" when you are at a loss for words.

When I'm at a loss for words, I go uncomfortable silence. I let the silence get so thick that the person I am with gets that one drip of sweat down the side of their face as they grin and pretend like they're okay with not talking.

So Anna and I have been questioning the beauty comment by asking "Yeah, but what about all those overhead wires? Whats up with those?" In the same tone, spoken in the same manner that we would say, "Who is the mayor in this town?"

Even in uber riche Montecito, they have overhead wires everywhere. If I was spending millions of dollars on a house and generating large sums in property taxes for the city, I'd want a clear view of the sky when I'm driving the Rover up the street.

Sure if they got rid of them there would be very little, cosmetically speaking, to complain about in this town. But they seem like an obvious fix and no one is complaining. Its just sooo nice here, why make it nicer?

We like our friend Graham's answer the best so far. No, he didn't get the question out of us by stating the obvious. Graham is our go to guy for all things Santa Barbara. He even knows the names of all the local politicians. I went to a speech by one and later saw her in one of the many town parades recently... still can't remember her name. I also do not know who the mayor is.

Why doesn't Santa Barbara pay to sink the overhead wires? "They spend all of their money on roundabouts" said Graham.

There are roundabouts everywhere in this town. I don't know how much a roundabout costs, but it can't be cheap. In the past, I have used roundabouts as an answer to all of Santa Barbara's problems. Homeless people? Build them a roundabout. Fires take out a neighborhood? Roundabout.

I don't know why the mayor here, whomever that may be, isn't in DC asking for stimulus money to sink the overhead wires. Think of the stimulusing of all those jobs sinking wires. Am I six months too late? Are there no more packages to be distributed?

We can probably scrape the cash together from tourist revenues. The city could somehow tap into that glossy river of diamonds.

Come to Santa Barbara and see the overhead wires, live the post-beach town lifestyle and have a picnic in a roundabout.

7am Photobooth

I really like the photobooth app on Anna's laptop. I just put a kid on my lap and fire it up.

Boy am I acerbic

Last night I thought of a book I would like to read to my girls each night before bed. I think with some snappy illustrations I might have something.

Chapter 1: 3am is never a good time to practice talking, rolling over or screaming.

subtitled: No matter how much you want them to, your parents can't stay up being your personal floating cloud all night or, think of a reason for being out of your bed before you get up.

Chapter 2: Its food, so put it in your mouth and move on with your life.

subtitled: Water bar closes at midnight.

Chapter 3: Maybe you can have a special day, before you are a teenager, when you don't cry?

Subtitled: Let your parents finish a sentence before you lose it.

Chapter 4: Just because you aren't one, doesn't mean you should scream when I don't let you pinch my armpits.

Chapter 5: Sure sharing is hard but, can't you at least do it with stuff that isn't even yours?